Friday, May 08, 2009

Bitter Old Man or "Get off my starship, you damn kids!"

As you can guess, I'm not part of the hordes of moviegoers and critics who are practically fellating STAR TREK and J.J. Abrams. The reviews are favorable and everyone seems to confirm that the franchise is back...

Truth is, the last TREK movie that I was interested in was UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY. The last TREK spin-off that I liked was DS9. I'm lukewarm on NG TREK, actively despise VOYAGER and ENTERPRISE. I have plenty of TREK to choose from, thank you, and I tend to like the Original Recipe.

What I've seen of STAR TREK: THE PEPSI GENERATION, I'm not impressed with. "The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades - 'Cause Of The Lens Flares." It seems to be a case of 'CLOVERFIELD Syndrome' - everybody loves the initial rush, but in 5 years or so looking back, everyone will be embarrassed that they actually thought it was good.

This isn't limited to TREK, or a case of "raping my childhood" -- I really have lost my taste for the megabudget, big event films that should make my life more complete. Bat-Hype totally killed any interest I had in going to THE DARK KNIGHT, and indifference to comic adaptations was my excuse for IRON MAN, WATCHMEN, WOLVERINE... and not being a real big fan of Abrams made the TREK announcement a non event for me.

Most of these are really great thrill rides - a couple may actually be really good films. But in-between these two poles is a lot of mediocre style that people mistake for good filmmaking.
I don't really have the need anymore to rush out to watch mediocre films. "Lemming-cinema", as I'll start calling it from now on.

At best, Pepsi Gen TREK is a cheap matinee, or a wait for the DVD. I hope to be surprised that it's a good movie...

I just really hate the thought of wearing sunglasses inside while I'm watching it.

Update: Best one line review of Pepsi Gen TREK from the A.V. Club comments. And yes, it's offensive.

8 May 2009 | 1:03 PM CDT hatin

JJ Abrams' Star Trek = reacharound

Courteous, yes. But you're still getting fucked in the ass.